DAY 1: EMERGENCY DRAINS AND A PUFFY FACE
The past 24 hours have been a slight whirlwind of chemo brain/pain/struggles.
I woke up suddenly at 5.30am yesterday morning because I couldn’t breathe. I was choking and coughing and I was a so scared I started having a panic attack.
My boyfriend, (my superhero) Sam, held my hand and sat with me until I calmed down. Sam has the ability to make me smile even in these horrid situations.
Due to being in hospital for so long I have lost huge amount of muscle mass on my legs and the chemo makes you weak so I struggle to walk on my own.
When I’d calmed down, Sam carried me into the bathroom and sat with me whilst he helped me bath even washing my hair with baby shampoo and conditioner. After lifting me out of the bath, he changed my dressing and helped me put some comfy clothes on.
Then he half carried me down the stairs into the kitchen to try and eat breakfast which was a real struggle. Sam does all cooking at the moment and we are trying a special diet and trying to cut out sugar completely (which is proving very difficult and very expensive).
After breakfast he drove me to the hospital where I had an appointment with my consultant. I struggled to walk from the car to the hospital due to the weakness in my legs and we had long long waits before being seen.
She sent me for an ultrasound to check my tummy as it’s been hurting for a few days. The tests showed there was minimal fluid on my tummy but they noticed that my right lung had collected a lot of fluid.
They rushed me through for ANOTHER emergency drain and I cried and swore all the way through it as it was so unbearably painful.
They drained 2 litres of fluid off my lung in 20 minutes and the relief I felt after was heavenly.
It was a long day at the hospital and we were both feeling pretty exhausted then out of the nowhere Sam burst into an impressive version of Take That‘s Back For Good and we both fell abotu laughing.
Sam’s ability to keep smiles on our faces through this journey is so special to me and just makes it all a little easier.
Back home we chilled out on the sofa and I read through all the comments you guys left for me on Facebook and Instagram and felt completely overwhelmed by the love and kindness of strangers.
I am so in awe of everybody’s compassion and love. Right now I’ve got chemo brain and it is a real struggle to concentrate through the fog.
But I will be in touch with those who have said such beautiful comments.
Please keep in touch. You are giving me strength.
Love Laura xx