Not great company..

Hi Guys, I have to apologies for not posting Saturday, I was unfortunately too poorly and bed ridden for the day..

So I woke up again feeling awful, my sickness seems to be getting worse each day when I wake up, but I am not actually throwing anything up. Sam jumped up to get me a bowl again and gave me my sickness medication as soon as a I felt well enough to take it. My bones and body are generally just aching all over now, with the occasional shooting pains. Its so uncomfortable and I just can’t seem to be able to do anything. It’s really painful, It just doesn’t allow me to even get down the stairs as I struggle so much with my legs hurting.

I started to feel a little better after around half an hour to forty five minutes, and then I had my other meds for pain etc. The problem is the nausea never seems to fully go away, I did talk about this with the doctor earlier this week, and there is a connection with not eating enough and feeling more sick, but I just can’t seem to feel hungry. All I ate was two pieces of cheese on toast and I couldn’t even finish that! I trally love food so this side effect really sucks!

Me and Sam decided to stay in bed instead of making me feel worse and going downstairs, it may not seem a big issue but it makes me so tired just going down the stairs. We watched a couple of Christmas films (which were dreadful but very easy to watch and I don’t have to concentrate with my chemo brain) and talked nonsense as usual, all whilst Sam was up and down getting me water every 20 minutes. After watching the films I was so tired from the pain that I had some liquid morphine and had a nap. I never mean to sleep for long but before you know it I’ve been sleeping for 2-3 hours. It’s a good job Sam is just happy there playing football manager all day as at the moment I am not great company.

After my nap, Sam offered me some food again, but I just couldn’t do it. We watched usual crappy TV, and talked more about future life and what we want to do during my break from chemo as on Tuesday, I will be half way through this course. We are definitely going to take a trip, we both need a break.

I then went back to sleep hoping that again tomorrow will be an easier day but I fear that I will just get weaker with every dose of chemo I have.

Love Always x

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