Nurse Sam..

I woke up on Monday feeling absolutely dreadful I I am trying not to count how many times I have said this now). I felt so nauseous and just awful, constantly bringing up saliva again and again. Sam gave me my anti-sickness medication and we had to wait an hour before doing my other medication.

The sickness started to calm down and just as it did, the district nurse arrived to change my picc line dressing and also to drain the fluid from my lung. The nurse changed my dressing and then asked Sam to do the drain, just so that he is more efficient with it, should he need to do it in an emergency. When I am getting the drain, we usually know I’ve had too much taken off when I start to cough, and this normally happens when I reach the litre mark, however today only 750ml was taken off and I started to cough. I’m hoping this is good news as it might mean the fluid is drying up from the chemo.

After the nurse left we decided to head out for a bit, just have a drive and maybe get some lunch, as its nice just to leave the house sometimes and do anything to get out of the four walls I’m normally surrounded by. However after only about half an hour I started to feel really sick and awful again. So Sam took me home and picked up some food for us instead. I headed straight to bed and had a nap for a few hours, before waking up and having some food finally. I also seem to find my appetite later on in the day, even though Sam tries to prompt me to eat during the day, I just can’t face it most of the time. After food we watched tv and talked our usual crap and then went off to sleep.

Yesterday was my chemo day and it was earlier than usual, so we were up earlier as well. I woke up and didn’t feel too bad when I first woke up. Which was great, but also I realised straight away that it’s chemo day that day and no matter what I’ll still be feeling sick after it and the next week following. I got up and ready for the day with a bit of help from Sam and made sure I had something to eat before I got to chemo, as it is even worse if I don’t eat beforehand. For some reason me and Sam were bickering the entire morning and on the way to chemo, which made for a few awkward moments on the way through to chemo and during.

As the chemo started, it seems as though there has been a mistake with my medication. We have been given a medication to help with my stomach during chemo and they have also been giving me the medication as pre-meds on the day of the chemo. So I have been overdosing on this medication for 8 weeks! However thankfully now we know and can avoid it from now on. I had my chemo, which as usual took around 4 hours. Me and Sam bickered on and off during the chemo, which wasn’t great, but as soon as we got the car we said how silly it was and decided to forget it and just carry on.

We decided to have a little drive again and went to a few local shops to have a look around (I’m a shopping addict), didn’t find much, but me and Sam had some fun so it was worth it. We then headed back home and on the way back, I didn’t feel very well. We picked up a bit of food and got into the house. We watched a film and I had some food, to try and give me a bit of energy. For the rest of the night, I watched crappy tv shows, whilst Sam played football manager again! We then watched I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, we both say we hate it, but for some reason end up watching it every night before bed. Out of the blue Sam apologised to me for the bickering and so did I, so we kissed and made up. Sometimes the stress can just get to us both I think and it comes out in the wrong way, we don’t mean to be like it with one another, but I suppose it would be abnormal if we didnt bicker sometimes.

Then it was sleepy time. Let’s keep hoping I don’t feel sick in the morning.

Love Always x

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